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Clay Fans vs. Ruben Fans
09/30/2003 9:57 PM No real update tonight. Just wanted to post the following things. This was taken from Kate's Stuff. On Their Idol’s Appearance: Clay fans: Clay is so cute! Clay is so beautiful! Clay is so sexy! Trummy! Pants! Freckles! DTTR or DTTL? I like his hair better spiky. I like his hair better au naturel. Damn makeup people put too much orange makeup on Clay! His teeth are so white and straight. I want to stroke his hairy forearms. Clay has big ears. No, he doesn’t. They just stick out. I think you can see his ass in this picture. He has no ass. He has some junk in his trunk. Someone just posted a picture of Clay in shorts. His legs are so white. Look at the leg hair! I hate the Wango Tango shirt. I love the Wango Tango shirt. 13-1/2!! Fitted Suit! Clay I love the Rolling Stone cover. He has a treasure trail. And chest hair! I think I can see his clipples. Ooooh, B&W Clay is so pretty/pensive/vulnerable/Bob. Album photo cover shoot! Clay is up against a garage door. I want to slam Clay against a garage door and jump him. I hate the plaid shirt. I like the plaid shirt. I want the pole picture as a poster. Hee! I just said “pole”. Ruben fans: Ruben is representin’ 205. He’s not wearing 205 anymore. Really? Oh. On Their Idol’s Single: Clay fans: I’m so glad they’re putting BOTW on it. And TITN. I love TITN. I think the song sucks, but I like it because it’s Clay. When do Billboard numbers come out? How many do you think he sold? I can’t find it anywhere in this godforsaken town!!! And Amazon is sold out! That’s a good sign isn’t it? He’s #1 on Billboard. The Anomaly has been avenged. My radio station won’t play it. I heard it twice on my radio station!! Oooh, Clay is still #1 for the second week in a row. GOLD?!?! Clay has gone platinum! Omigosh, I’m gonna cry. Congratulations, Clay! Hey, don’t forget to request TITN at your radio station. He’s #1 on Z100/KIIS/JoJo/my local radio station!! Good job, everybody. I saw a lonely clingle at Wal-Mart yesterday and it just flew into my cart. How did that happen? I hate the arrangement of BOTW. The choir is too loud. We just want to hear Clay. How could RCA let this happen? What’s their e-mail address? Ruben fans: Oh, I didn’t even know it was out already. On Their Idol’s Album: Clay fans: When’s it coming out? I thought it was August 19th! No, it’s two weeks after Ruben's? Ruben better hurry the hell up. I wonder what songs will be on it. BOTW and TITN will be on it. I’m so excited about Solitaire. I didn’t really like Solitaire. Aldo Nova/Darren Hayes/Desmond Child/Clif Magness/Rick Knowles/Steve Morales will be working/writing for the album. The album is up for preorder! It’s number one! What’s TBD mean? To. Be. Debacled. Ha! Good one. I’m gonna buy one for me and one for my mom/sister/husband/brother/podiatrist. They’re investing millions in this album. This is Clive’s pet project. Clive loves the material for Clay’s album. It doesn’t matter. I’d buy Clay singing the phonebook/Chinese food menu/Gregorian chants. Oooh, Gregorian chants. Good idea. What’s RCA’s e-mail address? Ruben fans: Yeah, I might buy it. If it’s any good. On Their Idol’s First Music Video: Clay fans: Why doesn’t Clay have his video out yet? Matthew Rolston is directing it? That’s great. He’s directed lots of great videos for Beyonce/Backstreet Boys/Madonna. This will be a great video. It’s going to be filmed in Minneapolis. No, Chicago. No, L.A. I hope it’s black and white. I hope Clay is alone. In a bed. With rumpled sheets. No, I want Clay to be walking down the street in the rain. Clay should do a video like Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game”. No, because if Clay cavorts with a half-naked model, then we must kill her. I want to see Clay kiss a girl in the video. I don’t. I want Clay and only Clay. Looking pretty/pensive/vulnerable/Bob. RCA insider says it will be arty. What song is it for? I hope it’s for TITN. I hope it’s for his new single. Oooh, it’s for TITN. I know the video hasn’t been made yet, but don’t forget to request it on TRL. We’ll show that asshat, Carson Daly. We’ll teach him to force Clay to take pictures. Ruben fans: Hey, did you all see Ruben’s video? It was nice. I cried. On Their Idol’s Love Life: Clay fans: Why is he all over KimME? Is this the Climberly? Yuck. Is Clay dating Carmen? Did Clay kiss Carmen? Carmen must go up on the shuttle immediately. Clay should hook up with Kimberley Locke. No, he shouldn’t. Yes, he should. Clay should stay single. Clay should get married. Clay had a girlfriend last summer at the Y. I don’t think Clay has had a girlfriend for five years. No wonder Bob exists. Clay is taking Amanda to the AFI awards. Is this the Clamanda? They are just friends. Amanda has a boyfriend. Is her boyfriend crazy? Is she crazy? Why is she not in love with Clay? I would be. I am in love with Clay! Clay is taking Mandy Moore to the AI Tour party. Why? That’s stupid. Mandy Moore must go up on the shuttle. No, she’s nice. No, she isn’t. Mandy Moore is not going on a date with Clay. Send her up anyway! Ruben fans: I think he’s single. On What They Would Like to do to their Idol: Clay fans: I want to kiss Clay. I heard he was a good kisser. Ooh, look how he hugs. He’s a very sensual person. And sensitive. I think he’d make a good lover. I want to rub that GOOD baby brush all over Clay’s body. I want to baby brush his legs/arms/chest hair/treasure trail. I want to dip animal crackers in honey and cinnamon sugar and march them around his body. I want to lick Clay. I want to debacle Clay. I don’t want to debacle Clay. I just want to hear him sing. Liar! Am not. Are too. I want to exfoliate Clay. I want to rub lotion on Clay. I want to have long, lazy sex sessions with Clay. Ruben fans: I want to hug Ruben. On the Internet: Clay fans: Oooh, hey, check out this article. And this article. And this article. And this one. Hey, I need an MP3, a video, and screencaps of Clay’s performance last night. Here ya go! Thanks! WRAL has videos of Clay’s trip home! Oh no! You guys broke WRAL. You guys broke TwoP. You guys broke Neurox. Someone at the other board/TTC/board that shall not be named/D*lt/that angel wings place said that Clay was wearing a blue shirt yesterday! Look at this @#%$! He doesn’t like Clay. Let’s e-mail him. We’ll teach him to never venture onto the internet again with a bad word about our Clay. Hey, look at pandiegirl’s screencaps. Those are beautiful. Clay’s interview with Billboard is online. I already have it copied to Word. Clay’s interview with his radio station is online. Oh, I need an MP3. Here ya go! Clay’s official website is up! Clay is losing this poll! Go vote. Clay is winning this poll. Go vote. Clay is ranked #2 on Lycos 50! Clay has 96,400 search results on Google! Go here www.podunkradiostation.com Ruben fans: Damn Clay fans. On Simon Cowell: Clay fans: I wish Simon would quit telling that Clay kid that he doesn’t look like a popstar. He’s cute enough. Motown the Musical? What the hell does that mean? Oooh, he said Clay was the one to beat. Don’t listen to him. He’s screwing with our heads. How come he never gives Ruben bad comments? What an asshat! @#%$! Shut up about Broadway, Simon!! Why is Simon complaining about Clay’s faces? Has he seen Josh sing? Simon was just on TV saying that Clay isn’t marketable. Is he stupid? Of course he is. I hate Simon. Simon must die. Everlasting Love was not horrible. Grease was not terrible. @#%$ you Simon! Simon was on Howard Stern. He said Clay was gay and that his single was only successful because of BOTW. Simon is an idiot. Simon is bitter. Simon has lost all credibility. Simon has no filter. Clay, stay away from Simon!! Don’t ever use “nice” and “Simon” in the same sentence again. Oops. I just did. Simon is gay and is pissed because Clay turned him down. Simon has manboobs. I hate Simon. Go back to England! Eat @#%$ and die, Simon! And because it can’t be said enough @#%$ YOU SIMON…628,000 TIMES!!! Ruben fans: Simon is alright. On Their Idol’s Wedding Tackle: Clay fans: DTTR Or DTTL? 13-1/2!!!!! In the Grease jeans, he’s totally DTTR. Hey, look at this pic of him laying down! And it comes in three different levels of zooming in. Yep, he’s definitely 13-1/2. I can’t really tell just from that picture. Hey, look Clay’s holding a sharpie! Okay, I’m totally a math geek but using mathematics/physics/Photoshop/position of the planets, it is my conclusion that the shoe size 13-1/2 correlation holds true. Holy crap! Did you see the DTTR on “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now”?!?! If you pause it at a certain point in the song, the light reflects off the front of his pants in such a manner that the DTTR is totally obvious. Okay, but looking at these pics of him in all white on the red carpet, it looks awfully DTTL to me. Remember “For the Longest Time”? I bet Carmen could give us some insight into this. Carmen is totally going on the shuttle. As a guy, let me just say that it hangs wherever it wants to. Look at his height, his feet, and his hands. It’s obviously HUGE. Like scary huge. Hey, look at the RS cover! I’ve got my magnifying glass, but those damn pants don’t show anything. I’m obsessed with his waistband. Probably because of what’s down there. So is his body hair butterscotch or cinnamon or blond or what? Because I bet the carpet matches the drapes. Heh heh. TREASURE TRAIL!! I volunteer to do hands-on research in this matter. Ruben fans: ...Huh? These made me laugh so hard: I added an Autographs page to my diary. Go check it out! :-) I get out of school tomorrow at noon, so I should be home for an early entry. :-)
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